WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Horn broken. Watch for finger.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

This is a bumper sticker.

Life: It's a sexually transmitted, and always fatal!

Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control

I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

Kids in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Honk if you hate bumper jokes.

Guns don't kill people. Gaping holes in vital organs kill people.

3 outs 4 people make up 75% of the world

I say no to drugs but they just don't listen.

HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET!!!

Hell - It's not the heat; it's the humidity.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man...nailing jell-o to a tree, for instance.

I'm the reason men are scared of women.

Honk if you are stupid enough to actually read the backs of people's cars and then do what it tells you to do

Honk if you're illiterate

Honk if you love Hanson, then drive straight into a tree!

I wish I was Barbie - That bitch has everything!

Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton

Lets Put the Fun Back in Funeral

Caution: I know Karate *in small print underneath* ...and seven other chinese words.

Who the hell would throw shit at a fan?

Buy Hemp 'N Let the Trees Grow

Not Another Son of a Bush in the White House

The Only Thing We Have to Fear is BUSH himself

There's absolutely no excuse for the way i'm about to drive.

So many lawyers, so few bullets

Humpty Dumpty was Pushed.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.

Your kid may be an honor student,
but mine can't beat up yours.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease

Jesus... He scares the Hell out of you!

God is my favorite fictional character

Nuke the gay whales for Jesus!

Suicide is a way of telling God 'you can't fire me, I QUIT!'

The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.

Eve was framed.

Atheists are Beyond Belief

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an asshole.

My Karma Ran Over MY Dogma

I have nothing against god, it's his followers that I can't stand

God save me from the Christians

God is coming and she is pissed.

The next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water.

GO TO HELL.....say hi to my friends.

Don't Pray In Our School & I Won't Think In Your Church

Jesus Saves! ... And at today's prices that IS a Miracle!

The Only Problem With Baptists Is They Don't Hold Them Under Long Enough

Nothing fails like a prayer

Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

God Is My CoPilot & He Can't Drive Either

He Died in A.D. 33 - Get Over It

"Pull my finger" said god, and thus he created wind.

I found Jesus! He was hiding behind the couch the whole time!

God huh? My imaginary friend's name is BoBo.

My God carries a hammer, and your God died nailed to a cross... Any questions?

If Going To Church Makes You A Christian, Does Going To The Garage Make You A Car?

If You're Born Again, Do You Have 2 Belly Buttons?

Worry, God knows all about you.

My God Can Beat Up Your God

Religion Is What Keeps the Poor From Killing the Rich

Jesus saves - Moses invests - but Allah pays dividends

Top Ten Reasons Beer is Better than Christianity
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured for his brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait more than 2000 years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.